Typically when people discuss empathy, it is about providing compassion to others. While empathy towards others is great and helps make the world a better place, many people still forget to give that same understanding to themselves. Showing empathy can help put you in a more positive mental space, allowing you to better help the people that you love.
You can learn the importance of your own words towards others and yourself. This begins with methods like practicing mindfulness and putting an end to judging yourself too harshly. Depending on who you are and what you have been through, it may also be important to learn to forgive yourself. Learning not to compare yourself to others is also vital because those sorts of comparisons can lead to depression or anxiety.
Treat Yourself How You Would Treat Others
There’s a saying to “treat others how you want to be treated”. Although this is the golden rule and has been helpful, consider looking at it the other way around. Most people have someone in their life that they love and have respect for. You have those people in your life who you would never want to hurt. When you take a deeper, introspective look, people often speak to the people they love better than they would themselves.
Label Your Thoughts, Feelings, and Truths
The next time you find yourself negatively talking to yourself, try to categorize your thoughts. Label them as thoughts, feelings, and truths. If you are beating yourself up about not being where you want to be in life or thinking you are a failure, categorize that as a thought. Then ask yourself how it makes you feel to say or think that about yourself. Once you have done that, it’s time to categorize the truths.
When you think about the truth, you will realize that you are exactly where you need to be. Think about the people in your life who love you and all of the small things you have done that don’t make you a failure. This is where you make a mental note of all the good you have done in your life.
Negative talk and self-judgment can hurt, even when you aren’t conscious of it. Practicing mindfulness is important when learning how to better yourself. Take the time to think about your thoughts and feelings as more than just “good thoughts” or “bad feelings.” Try to understand them with an open mind and be aware of why you’re thinking or feeling that way. Each thought or feeling does not have to make up your entire identity.
Learn to Forgive Yourself and Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
Learning to forgive yourself is a valuable tool that shows how feeling empathy for others helps you feel more connected to other people and yourself. In life, people are doing the best that they can with what they have. Everything that you learned from your environment and experiences, along with your physical and mental health, plays a part in how you treat others and yourself. If you didn’t grow up seeing people handle their anger in a healthy way, chances are that you learned to react the same way.
When you forgive yourself, that doesn’t mean that you ignore your wrongdoing. It means that you need to show compassion to yourself and recognize that you are only human. Everyone makes mistakes, but making amends with yourself and learn from your mistakes is crucial. Loving yourself while comparing your life to others can be especially difficult when you are not healthily viewing the lives of others.
You Are Unique
Practicing empathy with yourself involves not only understanding that you are human but also understanding that you are unique. Things like social media can strip people of their individuality, causing someone to compulsively compare themself to others. If you struggle to resist the urge to indulge in too much social media, it can pull you away from what matters to you.
Life is filled with ongoing tests and challenges that bring about negative emotions like fear, anger, rage, disappointment, anxiety and worry. When you feel like this, try not to neglect your inner self, as it can cause you to lose focus on what you feel, think, need, and care about. You may even end up feeling lost, hopeless, or withdrawn from who you truly are.
Self-empathy requires dealing with all of the not-so-favorable things you experience internally. Accepting those feelings helps in the process of giving yourself the love you need to make a change in your life.
Connecting with yourself is an important part of self-care. Showing empathy is more than showing it towards others; it’s also providing it to yourself. Empathy provides love and understanding in the times where it may be the hardest. For people with anxiety and depression, it can be harder to show themselves that love without a plan. So many people provide empathy for others while they internally suffer. Chances are they need someone to talk to. If you or a loved one is struggling with mood disorders that make it hard for you to practice self-love, then it may be time to seek professional help. Facilities like HealthyU can help you reach levels of mental health that you may have never thought you could reach. We provide in-person and virtual help for those who are not able to reach us. We even have services that are specifically made for teens. Contact us at (619) 542-9542.
