How to Stay Accountable in Your Relationships


Publish date

Jul 16, 2021

Post Author

Healthy U Behavioral Health


Accountability is often set as a responsibility of the people around you in life. You have probably heard of the term “accountability partner.” This term implies that people typically need a little assistance to make sure they are consistent and aware of their actions. In romantic and family relationships, people tend to be more forgiving towards those who frequently make mistakes. No one is perfect, and in social interactions, some people make mistakes, hurt others’ feelings, and lie. These traits don’t make people bad; this is all part of being human. 

Although this is a natural part of being human, not holding yourself accountable when making a mistake can be problematic. When people love you, they may be less inclined to hold you accountable because of the forgiving nature that comes with love and family. If you begin to hold yourself accountable for the times you have fallen short, it can help you strengthen your relationships. Here are ways you can practice holding yourself accountable and lift the heavy burden of forgiveness off the shoulders of your loved ones. 

Apologize Early and Often as You Make Mistakes

Everyone has their daily issues and circumstances that may cause them to get stuck inside their own head. It can become very easy to say or do things that offend people without realizing it. Apologizing lets the people in your life know that not only are you aware of your wrongdoing, but you’re also holding yourself accountable for your actions. 

This form of accountability is simply an acknowledgment, but it can change the trajectory of the initial issue. Even if you feel as though you did nothing wrong, if someone got hurt, accountability is taking your best steps toward handle the situation differently the next time around. 

The close relationships you have with people should be stress-relieving, but when there is conflict, it can cause a lot of stress. Apologizing can effectively reduce the negative impacts of the problem, allowing you and the other party involved to move on. This form of accountability can be empowering, helping you carry yourself in a way that surrounds you with good energy. 

Setting an Example for Kids

For those who are parents, apologizing can set the standard for the rest of your children’s lives. Simply saying that you are sorry can prevent potential wounds that your kids could carry with them for the rest of their life. Maybe you were punished for something they didn’t do, or perhaps you overreacted about some miscommunication. Holding yourself accountable and apologizing will show them that it’s okay to acknowledge when you are wrong. 

After interactions with your children or even your friends, try to analyze the part you played in the conflict. People say that there are three sides to every story, your side, their side, and the truth. Apologizing for your part of the story that could’ve been handled better will take care of your portion and potentially make it easier for the other parties involved. 

Accountability for Personal Gain

Holding yourself accountable is more than just apologizing to others. As an individual, there are probably certain things you would like to accomplish. Sometimes, people want better circumstances for themselves, but they are not taking the necessary steps to achieve these goals. When you are younger, you have your parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors to guide you through holding yourself accountable. 

For example, receiving a D on your test because you didn’t study comes with a teacher or a parent who is disappointed in you. They will hold you accountable because they realize that you are young, and it is something we all need at a young age. As people grow older, others are less inclined to hold their peers accountable. The idea is that once you are no longer a child, you should know right from wrong. 

Once you become an adult, you are fully responsible for getting that 4.0 GPA, that new job, or achieving that fitness goal. You have to hold yourself accountable to get that done for yourself. Holding yourself accountable comes down to changing your attitude, writing things down, creating a plan, and asking for help. 

There are so many things that are out of your control; it’s important to focus on the things you can control. If you have a more positive outlook on life, holding yourself accountable can be a victory for yourself. 

Accountability is something that should be monitored by every single person. We often hear about other people holding people in their lives accountable, but you must also do it yourself. Accountability may not be something that can just happen overnight for some people. It may take a solid plan of action and consistency. Although you should hold yourself accountable, building a strong support system where everyone is holding each other accountable can be the beginning of a strong foundation in your relationships. The people in your life may not be speaking up about the things they want you to hold yourself accountable for, and this is why it’s essential to write down a plan of action and implement it. If creating a plan to organize your has been a struggle, then maybe you shouldn’t do it alone. Facilities like HealthyU can help you and your loved ones get on track and show you how to build a healthy support system that works for all. Contact us at (619) 542-9542.